Dear Igor,

Let me throw some facts your way, I know such concepts are rare in the world of yellow journalism or in your simple Russian life.
Batman: $6.8 billion USD.
Iron Man: $3 billion USD (poor man’s Batman).

Batman: Parent’s death, guilt and hatred of all criminals.
Iron Man: John McCain Syndrome (POW turned goody two shoes).

Batman: Genius-level intellect, world’s greatest detective.
Iron Man: That asshole who doesn’t have to study and still gets A’s (a.k.a. Striker Jones). 

Batman: The perfect human specimen, peak physical condition, proficient in all forms of combat.
Iron Man: Plays his own video game, presses buttons (but even then, screws up sometimes).

Batman: Relentless and unyielding moral code.
Iron Man: Drunk and unreliable, hypocrite (Stark Enterprises still makes weapons), his suit is pizza colored.

Characteristic Battle
Batman: Batman has beaten Superman.
Iron Man: Got beaten prison style by Lou Ferrigno (the Hulk).  

Batman Begins. Batman Returns. Batman Forever. Boom, roasted!

That’s right. All you band wagon-ning Iron Man fans can suck it and just get on your iPhone to complain on Facebook.  

As for that Ritalin sucking, man-child friend of yours, Hark Mermandez… well, I just hope you gave him time and a half to write you that aptly versed letter. Speaking of guano, what’s going to happen to your column once you grow up, I mean … graduate?

Good luck and God bless America.