Cleveland’s hiatus between the semifinals and the conference finals could either be a blessing or a curse – the Cavs could either be well-rested and fresh come May 20 or rusty from being out of practice. In the only game the Cavs won against Orlando, LeBron had to drop 43 for his team to win by a margin of only four points.
Still, I’ve got a few friends who think LeBron and company will sweep. Cleveland could start the series playing poorly, but King James will not let his team lose. Simply put, the Cavs will win in six.
Since I know more about the WNBA than I do about either of these inferior Eastern Conference teams, here are my predictions:
1) Dwight Howard will sit out Game One to let his eyes adjust to the fluorescent lighting bouncing off the head of Zydrunas Ilgauskas.
2) Ilgauskas will reveal that he is actually Shrek, surprising nobody.
3) Orlando Guard J.J. Reddick and Cavs forward Wally Szczerbiak will bond in Game Two when they discover that they both use the same pomade. The pair go on to become best friends before breaking up over a hair dryer and hosting bromance shows on MTV in attempts to replace each other.
4) Jeff Van Gundy will say something stupid, so fellow TNT announcers will become fed up and ditch him at an Orlando Hooters with the bill.
5) [Editor’s Note] I will become educated on the Eastern Conference powers so my article is actually relevant next time.