Tim Lincecum won the Cy Young yesterday, but something about it doesn’t sit well with the QB. He’s like 160 pounds and throws it 97 mph. Steroids? Unlikely. Evil black magic voodoo? Look into it, MLB.
Armchair QB
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Aries
March 21 - April 19
“Greased Lightnin’” from “Grease”
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Sunset waltz from “La La Land”
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Frat flick
Leo
July 23 - August 22
“Macarena” by Los Del Río
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
“Gangnam Style” by PSY
Libra
September 23 - October 22
“Swan Lake” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Renegade
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
“Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago”
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
“The Last Text” from “Dance Moms”
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Flossing
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
All of “Hamilton”
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