So Veterans Day is tomorrow, meaning all you students don’t have class, and we Nexites don’t have to make a paper. Hooray! But the ‘human has one quarrel with the whole ordeal: Who puts a holiday on a Tuesday, without giving Monday off? Seriously, if these veterans expect me to honor them on a Tuesday, they’re going to have to give me at least four days off. And that’s bare minimum. I mean, Jesus gives me like three weeks during December, and that doesn’t even get me into church!

As it is, I’m just resentful. Stingy vets… what have they ever done for me?

Tomorrow’s forecast: The ‘human joins the army just to get the Monday off from now on. What could possibly go wrong?

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