While being at UCSB for more than a few years now, I’ve noticed how oblivious students are when going to lecture, the library and/or section. People often think their bad mannerisms go unnoticed, especially in a lecture hall full of hundreds of students. However, this is not the case. For most of us, we don’t enjoy attending 8 a.m. classes or missing dinner for a late-night section, and more importantly, most of us don’t like spending our leisure time studying in the library. With that said, I’ve included some simple and elementary mannerisms to avoid pissing off your peers, or worse, your professors, because whether or not you are the class genius or class clown, whatever you do, don’t be “that guy.”

First, as we all know, 8 a.m. classes are the worst. However, not only do these classes weed out the late sleepers, but they also keep in the lazy ones as well. By “lazy,” I am simply referring to the students (boys and girls) who roll out of bed and head straight to class (no shower, no new change of clothes, deodorant, etc.). Although this may seem convenient to get the extra half hour of sleep, to others it is not. Nobody likes the smelly kid, especially in a lecture hall full of hundreds of students. So if you are constantly getting looks or sitting alone, take the hint and shower before class. It’s not that hard.

This brings me to my next point. Not only do we not like the smelly kid, but all of us hate the sick kid even more. I have to admit, sitting in lecture and having a person directly behind me coughing, breathing and sneezing onto my neck makes me wanna… well, you can fill in the blank. Seriously though, if you’re sick, stay home and get the missed notes from a peer/TA, or at the very least, sit in the front row.

Third, as section and lectures often disrupt our eating schedules, this does not make it appropriate to converge the two. In other words, bringing a full bag of freshly popped popcorn or Freebirds nachos is extremely rude and disruptive, especially when the rest of us haven’t had the chance to eat yet. So for those of you who distastefully do this, more power to you for being “that guy” that everyone hates, including the professor. For the rest, bring a PowerBar or even a cold sandwich… I’m sure you can think of something.

Fourth, as elementary as this may sound, when asking a question in lecture, no introduction is needed. I find it imperative to say this because on a daily basis, there is always “that guy” who is called upon and immediately responds by saying, “Um… yeah, I have a question… (dramatic pause)… does this…” Spare us the introduction, Einstein, and get to the point. We all know you have a question, so the quicker you ask your unnecessary and brown-nosing inquiry, the faster we can return to lecture.

And lastly, while dreadfully studying in the library, it makes it even worse to hear the constant laughing (or giggling) and loud talking coming from the study rooms. Although I could get into who this usually is, the point is that the rooms are not sound proof. So, in the future, when people on the outside are constantly staring you down (the ones who are actually doing work), take the hint. It isn’t cute, so play grab ass on your own time.

In conclusion, if you’re sitting there reading this to yourself and justifying how these bad mannerisms aren’t that bad, you’re probably “that guy”… and for that, this piece is dedicated to you, asshole.