When Democracy Fails

Fri., Oct. 3, 11:16 p.m. — An officer stationed at the corner of Del Playa Drive and Camino Pescadero witnessed an intoxicated male kick the rear panel of a moving vehicle.

The deputy started towards the 22-year old, who was walking in the officer’s direction. However, when the young man noticed he was approaching Isla Vista’s finest, he made a quick 180 degree turn and bolted away.

The officer shouted at the man, “Stop, police,” but he did not take heed. Running from the law, however — especially when drunk — is never a good idea, and the deputy was quick to catch up.

The officer placed a hand on the intoxicated man and identified himself, but the young man unwisely tried to escape. Two more deputies joined the scuffle, and within a couple of seconds, the inebriated man was face down on the asphalt.

The deputy placed him in handcuffs and helped him to his feet. The officer then attempted to question the young man, but whenever spoken to he would rant about social injustices and the failure of the democratic system.

The officer asked the man what he meant by his comments, but he could not elaborate and continued to simply ramble about the democratic system.

He was arrested and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.

What Would Jesus Say?

Sat., Oct. 4, 12:23 a.m. — Deputies on a uniformed foot patrol of the 6500 block of Del Playa Drive noticed a male struggling to walk down the street.

The youth was stumbling as he made his way eastbound down the center of DP. The officers watched as he ran into several people and looked to be on the verge of falling down.

A deputy stopped the clearly intoxicated man, whose face was blank, his eyes glassy and his breath laden with the strong odor of alcohol.

The officer asked the 18-year old UCSB student how much he had imbibed, and the young man responded by telling the officer that he never drank alcohol because he was in a “religious group” and “did not believe in drinking alcohol.”

The deputy was not fooled, however, and asked the man if he could take a look in his backpack. The drunken non-drinker consented and after a quick search, the officer pulled out a blue water bottle filled with a clear liquid. The liquid smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage and the young man confessed that it was vodka.

At this point, the deputy had no choice but to arrest the not-so-pious young man, who was later transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Forever Young

Sat., Oct. 4, 12:40 a.m. — A man walking down the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive with a bottle inside a plastic bag caught the attention of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol.

An officer contacted the 27-year old partier and asked him what he had in the bag. The man — who was at least still young at heart — pulled out a half empty fifth of Seven Crown Whiskey.

The deputy had the man take a seat on the curb as he wrote out a citation for having an open container of alcohol in public. The recently apprehended individual asked the officer what he was being cited for, and the officer explained it to him.

The man did not like the explanation, however, and argued that if the cap was on, the bottle was not open. The officer retorted by stating that once the seal is broken, the bottle is considered an open container.

The man seemed confused by this, though, and repeatedly asked the deputy what he was being cited for. The considerate officer explained it at least three more times.

The officer asked the man to stand up so he could sign the citation — and thus be let go — but he fell over when he tried to stand. The deputy helped him to his feet and explained the citation once more.

At this point, the man became very angry and refused to sign the citation. The officer calmly told him that if he didn’t cooperate, he would be forced to arrest him.

The deputy gave him three chances to sign before arresting him.

Once in handcuffs, the officer performed a quick search of the man and found a black nylon bag with a pipe and less than an ounce of marijuana.

The man was then transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.