Sat. Sept. 27, 12:27 a.m. – A deputy was patrolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive when an intoxicated male stumbled directly into him.

The deputy quickly deduced that the 19-year-old male was blind drunk. The officer told the man to take a seat on the curb.

The deputy asked the young man where he lived, and he responded by telling the officer he was “rock climbing.” A quick scan of the surrounding area led the deputy to question this story, but instead of confronting him about the rock climbing, he asked the young man how much he had had to drink.

“I’ve had nothing, because I was rock climbing,” the severely befuddled individual said.

However, harmless confusion turned to belligerent insubordination when the officer attempted to arrest the man. “Fuck you!” he shouted out, telling the officer that he was a “fucking cunt!” However, that was not the first time a member of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol had been insulted, and it sure won’t be the last.

The young man was placed in handcuffs and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Alley Cat Blues
Sat. Sept. 27, 1:15 a.m. – Officers patrolling the 6700 block of Del Playa Drive watched as a young female fell into a parked vehicle.

The deputies continued to watch as she stumbled down the street, using the cars lining the street like bumpers in a bowling alley. She was utterly unable to stand by herself and had a young man helping her walk. He was doing a poor job.

When the officers got within earshot, they could smell the strong odor of alcohol emanating from her mouth. One of the deputies asked the young lady if she was all right, but all he got in return was a mouthful of incomprehensible drunken gibberish.

The deputy had the woman with the stumbling swagger take a seat on the curb and tried to continue to ask her questions. So intoxicated was the young lady, however, that she struggled mightily just to maintain her balance while seated and at one point had to halt the conversation to vomit on her feet.

The officer, drawing upon his many years of dealing with intoxicated individuals, concluded that this drunken reveler was just too drunk and decided to arrest her. While in route to the Santa Barbara County Jail, she threw up in the back seat of the patrol car and was eventually booked into the jail, where she stayed, pending sobriety.

(Dis)respecting your Elders
Sat. Sept. 27, 2:39 a.m. – A young man caught the attention of Isla Vista’s finest after rudely screaming at an innocent passerby.

Officers patrolling the 6500 block of Del Playa Drive watched as the young man walked eastbound down the street, shouting at anyone who crossed his path. At the ripe old age of 23, the four-year veteran of the UC system must have thought he was owed some respect – as evidenced by his shouting “seniors!” at those he passed.

And then he did something stupid. Noticing that there was a large white SUV coming toward him, he jumped out into the middle of the street, forcing the vehicle to swerve out of his way.

Having barely avoided being hit, the belligerent young man proceeded to pound on the hood of the vehicle, continuing his barrage of proclamations and insults.

The SUV moved on, but the proud senior nearly fell to the ground after losing his balance. At this point the deputies had no choice but to arrest him. He was later transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.