So this is it – my last piece for the Nexus as your resident whiny Englishman. And as always, I’m going to be honest with you: As much as I love my country, I do not want to go back home. If I could have my friends and family over here, I would gladly stay. A major factor in contributing toward this feeling is that little thing called the sun. Sounds silly, I know, but the simple fact that I don’t have to worry about biting wind/rain combos, dull skies and massive puddles is a huge relief. The sun is so… nice. I can wear shorts and flip-flops to class and not have a care in the world. I can stop by Blenders on the way home and pick up a delicious smoothie without concern for any acid rain entering my beverage. I know, ironically, it has rained here recently, but that’s what, the fifth time it’s rained in Santa Barbara this year? And you can skateboard into Uni! That’s ridiculous! You have no idea how easy you guys have it over here. You live. Next to. A beach. Relish in that joyous little fact while I go back to narrow roads and miserable fucking pale bastards.

Oh, the people! I know I’ve mentioned this before, but you’re all so friendly over here; so welcoming and inviting; so helpful – and not as stupid as the rest of the world makes out. I will be lucky if I manage to get a “hello” back if I greet a stranger in London. I consider myself very lucky to have met certain people here, pupils and teachers alike. And instead of saying “hello” or “hi,” I’ve started saying “how’s it going?” which I think invites conversation. Though some Americans merely use it as a generic greeting without a desire to converse, many use it as a very pleasant and open greeting to a stranger. Nice. I will have to try to seek out as many Americans who live in England as I can.

This friendliness even extends to the nightclubs here. Back home, “attitude” is a huge problem, from the know-it-all bouncers to the pretentious girls to the shallow guys inside the club ready to start a fight. Not only is the music better here, but the girls are nicer – yes, in more ways than one – and there is definitely a more chilled vibe. I will genuinely miss this. I am not a huge fan of clubbing, but I like going out here – even if it is bloody expensive.

I do, however, have a few ‘niggles.’ I got serious last week and talked about the homeless issue. That is a huge problem. The political environment is also ridiculous. It’s a wonder that Barack Obama is still alive after that immense dogfight. The TV over here is also appallingly loaded with bad adverts left, right and centre. I’ve told my English friends a few times that the advertising world is one of the greatest flaws with American society. It’s just so absurdly aggressive and excessive and, many times, simply retarded. These are only a few of the things I really detest about America. Granted, you have a lot going for you but, as with any country, you have deeply immersed flaws within society. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of West Coast living, but I haven’t decided if I am willing to overlook these flaws yet.

In the meantime… It’s called football, not soccer, because we actually use our feet for that game. Your “@” symbol is in entirely the wrong place on your keyboards. Your currency is silly because it’s all the same shape, size and colour and it’s really, really weak.

I think that about does it. I’ve had a very enjoyable year abroad in America, contrary to my preconceptions of dumb, fat idiots populating the streets. I only ask that if you have enjoyed reading my articles – past or present – please leave a comment. I have loved writing them immensely, as you can most probably tell. Thank you once again for taking the time to read this. Good day.