Fellow Gauchos, I have some bad news for you. This is my last column as your “Drinker’s Digest” columnist. After two years of trying new drinking games, suggesting party ideas and living as a functional alcoholic, it is time for me to pass the torch. I must move on from my weekly stories of drunken debauchery to a summer studying and traveling in Europe, followed by a fifth and final year at UCSB.
Every Wednesday as you skimmed through the paper past regular news, you probably looked for the juicy sex tales in the “Wednesday Hump.” I hope that every once in a while you looked further into the Opinion section and found the “Drinker’s Digest.” It was my goal to entertain you with funny stories, embarrassing situations, random facts and history all relating to having fun. As a brief recap, I have written articles about the fun of blacking out, costume ideas, many different drinking games, the loop, turning 21, injecting vodka, pissing the bed, absinthe, 4/20 and being on MTV. If you are ever bored, feel free to check out my Facebook where I have most of my articles posted, or check the www.dailynexus.com archives.
I spent this past weekend having some fun with my friends that are about to graduate. We ate edibles and went to Magic Mountain, got drunk at Medieval Times, went to El Paseo brunch, blacked out at Sunday Funday at Tonic and went shopping at the outlets in Camarillo. Each experience was so much fun, yet very different at the same time. Now I’m preparing for a trip to Lake Havasu this weekend, and wondering, how did I get so lucky?
I owe a lot of my fun and success at UCSB to the organizations I’ve participated in. I would encourage everyone to become involved in something. Our school has hundreds of different organizations and opportunities to be involved. If you have yet to do so, you should join and become involved in at least one organization at UCSB. If you are having trouble finding a group, someone from Office of Student Life can help you.
The other main piece of advice I want to offer is to always be positive and outgoing. A friendly attitude and nice gestures will come back around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been offered a job, a free drink, free place to stay or good advice by simply being nice to random people. Karma really does exist. Despite how annoying and stupid other people can seem sometimes, doing good deeds for friends and strangers will benefit you as well. Particularly, I would like to say that there is too much fighting in Isla Vista. Almost every weekend there is a drunken fight on Del Playa Drive, or someone getting jumped when they are walking home alone. I can stand on my balcony and see drunk guys say fucked up things as they pass by girls. These assholes draw negative attention toward I.V., which is causing university officials and law enforcement to crack down. If you are one of these assholes, stop it before you ruin the fun for everyone. If you come across some of these assholes, simply ignore them because they will get what’s coming.
I apologize, but now I must make a few shout outs. First, to the guys of Phi Sigma Kappa, thank you for giving me a hilarious and incredibly fun college experience thus far. Many of my ideas for columns have come from the ridiculous times we have had. Second, to my wonderful girlfriend Shayne: I love you more than all the booze in I.V. Next, to my editors, I would like to thank you for improving the quality of my columns by editing them and offering suggestions. Also, sorry for turning in most of my articles late. To all of my friends at UCSB, and everyone I have ever drank with, thanks for partying with me these past four years, and thanks for voting for me Associated Students off-campus representative. Without all of you, my college experience would have been lame. To all Gauchos: study hard, party harder!