I pose this question for all of you science geeks out there. If this is such a world-renowned university, and if we have so many Nobel Prize winners and other scientific hotshots walking around, why can’t we figure out how to make the lagoon smell better? I mean come on people, let’s get on this. Every time I walk by that murky body of water I feel like I just stepped into the worlds biggest gynecologists office. You’d think the scientists on this campus could figure out how to pour some baking soda or something into the lagoon. Please do something. I throw up in my mouth a little every time the wind picks up.

Friday’s Forecast: The ‘human tries to solve the problem with a few well-placed cans of Axe and ends up setting off an orgy. Again.