So Saturday afternoon, my friend Chad and I were having a conversation about the ladies of Isla Vista. It was a “walk and talk” around I.V., so the subject matter of our conversation was all around us: hot, bikini-clad babes. But aside from the babery we witnessed that fateful Saturday, we noticed some other trends pertaining to the female half of this collegiate beach town. Now I hope I don’t offend all you beautiful ladies, because that’s surely not my intention, but after my conversation with Chad, there are some things I wanted to discuss with you.

First: rap music. Girls, you can’t support this female-hating, computer-created propaganda against women. Most of the rap these days – and you know what rap I’m referring to – is so flagrantly anti-women it boggles the mind how hip-hop could substantiate a female fan base. I know what you’re saying: “Jordan, that’s only one piece of my musical pie, I listen to all sorts of music.” To that I would say, “It’s probably a big piece.”

Now I’m not here to put words in your mouth – I’m here to send them straight to your brain. If you ladies feel there is a system of social inequity and injustice favoring men and unduly belittling women, you shouldn’t commercially support that system with patronage of its music. It seems like these anti-women, pro-sex, drugs and money anthems come out of a factory whose only purpose is to create chauvinist dance melodies. If this music is out there, and all these people are listening to it, it must be conditioning its listeners to agree with the social norms it prescribes. Personally, I see no distinction between this type of hip-hop and Nazi heavy metal. I’d suggest formal abstention from hate-filled hip-hop – but girls, you decide.

Second: wearing bikinis around town. Chad and I really had to think about this one. On the one hand, we do enjoy seeing scantily clad ladies running amok in I.V. On the other hand, we couldn’t help but question the social forces pushing girls to walk around town in bikinis. The American female identity has become entirely sexualized. You can see that through the absolute evaporation of the one-piece bathing suit from women’s wardrobes. And while Chad and I don’t mind all you beautiful mademoiselles and your light summer garb, it makes us wonder if women feel they have to wear this stuff – as if it were forced upon them by the powers that be. We think y’all ladies should wear whatever you want.

Third: Be bold, ladies. This is one of the overarching themes I want to talk about. There is a system in place seeking to keep the women silent and complacent with consumerism and expensive hairdos. Much work has been done in the last century to deliver women more state-sponsored freedoms like the right to vote, the right to protection from sexual discrimination in the workplace and the right to make up your own mind on abortion. And after all this legislation and talk of gender parity, it’s obvious that legally fortified equality isn’t enough. The media has proven to be a stronger force of social coercion than government, and until the media status quo on women is fundamentally rejected, the female gender in America will never be rid of the shackles of the anti-lady Western way.

Speak out against this. Feminists get marginalized in America, and it’s a shame because their message of gender equality is pretty righteous. It isn’t a feminist value to speak out against sexist music, and it’s not unladylike to wear non-skintight clothes. Don’t let the Man tell you that if you disagree with modern American femininity, you must be a leftist feminist who hates men and loves armpit hair. What does he know, anyway?

We see there’s a system out there rigged against the girls, which sexualizes and commercializes their very identity. And legal solutions will never solve problems that lie in America’s psyche. But, with legions of women demanding equality and rejecting discriminative influences, they might blow some minds. At least that’s what two dudes like Chad and I think.