There are a few things that it seems society generally agrees upon, such as the idea that vitamins are good for you and early mornings are a prime time for productivity. Well, world, I’m about to knock you off your rocker. As it turns out, multivitamins aren’t God’s medical gift to people and waking up before the sun might actually be harmful to you.

Whoa is right. Researchers in London claim that vitamins A and E are not only useless, but, in scientific studies, were shown to “increase rates of mortality.” Vitamin C was shown to have neither positive nor negative effects. I’d say this is reason enough to toss out those Women’s One a Day vitamins, but those things are great hangover cures, so maybe keep them in the medicine cabinet.

As for the sleeping thing, it turns out that the morning person vs. night owl thing is scientifically true. There are three main different chronotypes for how we sleep: morning, evening and mid-range. If you are a morning person, don’t stress about this early morning threat to your health; you are quite productive and useful in the morning. However, if you are an evening person, don’t force yourself to wake up early if you don’t have to. It makes you really tired throughout the day, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, which makes you less useful and exhausts your body. Also, because your body is set to a “late” clock, just because you woke up early doesn’t mean you’ll go to bed any earlier. Personally, I love mornings, so I’ll keep getting up at ungodly hours just to read my book. But you, my sleepy roommate who doesn’t get up before 11 a.m. unless necessary, you slumber away.

So first they tell me vitamins are unhealthy, then they tell me that waking up early might be dangerous to a person’s health. What are they going to tell me next? Taco Bell is bad for me? Aw, hell no!