Short men, how long have you been plagued by your height deficiency? How many high school dances did you go to where your high heel-wearing date had to kneel down to fit in the picture with you? How many girls have turned you down just because they actually look down on you? Fear not! The newest fashion trend for all you shorties is man heels.
Yep, pointy, stiletto heels for men! Man heels are a wonderful, stupendous idea in my book. Now the boys can finally understand the pain we ladies go through just to get those calf muscles and booties looking hot. This isn’t a fad for the crossdressers alone (although, if you’re into that sort of thing, there are quite a few pretty cute pairs of heels for you too.) Vertically challenged, very heterosexual men all over the world are sporting their heels, which don’t always have to be of the stiletto variety.
French president Nicolas Sarkozy recently wore his heels on a trip to Britain so he wouldn’t be dwarfed by his supermodel wife, Carla Bruni, who towers over five foot five inch Sarkozy by four inches. Apparently, so many short British men found the idea of man heels so attractive that the department stores in London have recently begun carrying more. Spanish actor Antonio Banderas was even caught with a couple inches on his shoes. Sir Mick Jagger was also recently spotted donning a pair of hideously ugly man platform shoes reminiscent of Baby Spice’s footwear. It’s not that Mick is especially short; he’s dating a woman who is six foot two.
That’s just not fair to American men, who, on average, are about five feet nine and a half inches tall (the average American woman is about six inches shorter than that). A word of advice to the brave boys who dare to try a pair of heels: Practice before you go out. Seriously, the first time you walk in heels is very difficult. You’d hate to break anything. With enough practice, you might look as sexy as Josh.