Since those of us who aren’t poor just spent the week traveling, let’s focus on the biggest scam in travel these days: Southwest Airlines’ policy of open seating. It’s a complete madhouse. People are scrambling for windows or more legroom, and once you actually make your choice, you immediately regret it. It’s like getting on a Greyhound bus, except much more expensive and with the possibility that you end up in the middle seat between a fatass and some dude that looks like he’s going to try to light his shoe on fire. Plus, they don’t even enforce the boarding order, letting moms with babies board first no matter what their number is. What the hell does a baby need with more legroom?

Monday’s Forecast: Ding! You are now free to take the shittiest flight of your life.