Excuse me, ladies in the booty shorts? It’s winter. I know we live in Santa Barbara and that it actually climbed above 70 degrees yesterday and Sunday, but… it’s winter. Put on some pants.

Though it may have recently been warm enough to bare that much skin while standing in the midday sun and protected from the breeze, it’s still bitter cold at night. I myself am growing out my leg hair just for the extra layer of insulation – it’s one of the very few pluses to the long-distance relationship I’m in. But for those of you with honeys here, you could still don a pair of Levi’s rather than sitting there shivering next to me in class. Your chattering teeth are distracting.

I have to admit, I’m not a huge fan of short-shorts in public, even when it is warm. I find the ones with writing across the butt especially classy: “Princess,” “Hottie,” “Isla Vista” or my favorite, “PIKE.” Do we really need something to read to keep us interested in your ass? Let your booty speak for itself, and if it can’t – well, maybe it’s time to go back to those jeans. And if you’re doing it to catch the attention of the men on this campus, I know a fair few of them think it’s as ridiculous as I do. To the woman at the Matt Costa concert in the black top that nearly covered your white booty shorts – don’t worry, she had her UGGs on, so I’m sure she was nice and toasty – that guy who hollered at you after the show was letting you know you’d forgotten your pants.

Not to be colored hypocritical by my loving roommates, I do own a pair or two of booty shorts. Let me assure you that the farthest they’ve gone from my house is the mailbox, and that definitely wasn’t in winter. I’m all for female sexuality and the freedom to wear whatever we wish, but let’s practice an exercise in common sense and leave the booty shorts in the bottom drawer until spring.