This is the day. Today will be the one in which the sun shines upon you like a million golden spotlights and you will lose the fear of saying what’s been on your mind for so long. Maybe it’s something that just sparked your mind and you just have to let the world know. As long as you’re not another fucking Chris Crocker, you will surely be appreciated for doing so.
Too often we find ourselves in the straightjacket of the present. We are silenced by a viciously revolving past and fears of what could happen if we open our mouths. They beckon at us as we lay in our beds at night regretting that self-restraint. Nothing holds us back but ourselves. The apprehension pins us down and our chance slips away – the one and only chance of its kind. What’s worse: We are oblivious to it until we step back and realize it’s no one’s fault but our own.
Too many times I find myself regretting not saying something to someone. Sometimes we think we might say too much and fuck the situation up. But there can be no such thing. We give what we are, undoubtedly loved by someone for who we are. Everything happens for a reason and whether or not it goes to your liking – things end up working themselves out in one way or another.
A hopeless romantic, I seduce my iPod into a non-stop Morrissey orgy in a dimly lit room way past bedtime, writing letters – never meaning to send any – to the object of my affection. Such an emo scene, right? Well, over the summer, I took the chance of playing Russian roulette with my heart once again. Unfortunately, my Facebook status has remained a virgin in Singletown. However, taking that chance and getting hurt is, I have found, much better than laying in bed, running over the same unchanging scene, the same old ground. And, as Pink Floyd asks, what have we found? The same old fears.
Unfortunate news arrived to my dismay, on a scale much larger than any of my personal bullshit. The great equalizer has silently stepped forth and waits to gain a soul more beautiful than the warmest summer day in Isla Vista. His music, his voice, his heart touched the lives of all his friends. Time slowly seals the opportunity to say goodbye. Words understandably lose themselves in the mist – perhaps to elude us forever.
Sometimes silence is the most appropriate reaction. But that should not be due to a fear of reaction from others. I have never been one to raise my hand in class, and I do everything I can to avoid answering a question. We all have our ways of expressing sentiment and it is imperative you make it explicitly known to your intended audience or you will regret it.
So this is my way of saying goodbye. And I admit I am afraid. But I am telling you – and several thousand others – that I, along with so many others, will sincerely miss you and love you. Life is too much of a beautiful, delicate and precious thing to wallow in self-pity, as my very dear, very inebriated best friend helped me realize last weekend. I love him for it.
These days of splendor seem as though they will last forever. But as we have all experienced, nothing lasts forever. Time passes and it takes away these moments we thought were eternal. The great equalizer accepts no excuse. And, therefore, we must use what time we have to make our lives the best we possibly can. So this is where you make each day count. Begin with a smile to someone who passes you on your way to class. And to the person you’ve had your eye on for the past few weeks: Say something, anything. Get someone’s number. Tell them they are beautiful. Make a difference, not only in their lives, but in yours. Fulfillment feels fabulous. Get it while you still can, because there is no day but today.