Last week we talked about how to please men with your mouth, and that applied to a little over half of the students. Today, we’ll move on to the other half and teach all the guys – or girls – how to properly lay down that tongue twister known as cunnilingus.

Just like how the best way to prepare for sex is with cock pushups (not actually recommended), having a strong tongue is a useful asset to blow a girl’s mind. Trumpet players, auctioneers and Gene Simmons all have an advantage when it comes to eating pink tacos, so if your tongue can’t handle the metaphorical bench press that is eating out a woman, better take up a musical instrument.

Now I know as well as anyone that when you’re buried nose deep in a nice, juicy, and hopefully not cheesy, fur burger, it can be hard to concentrate on what exactly you’re doing, but… wait, what? You’re already down in the tropics? Slow down, Speed Racer, there’s a process.

Start off kissing her neck, and slowly maneuver your way down to the sweet spot. Generally the area below the belly button but above the vulva – the mound above a girl’s clit and labia – is a good place to hang out for a while and kiss. Continue past the vaginal area and kiss up her inner thigh – also a nice choice.

When the girl starts swearing that she’ll kill your dog if you don’t get busy and start licking, that’s when you are good to go. Start slowly on the clit, as this is the most pleasurable area for a girl. However, for some girls that can be too much. If she’s not communicating, try to read her reactions and body language. Is she backing away slightly, slapping your head, or even choking your neck with her thighs? That could mean you should take the action somewhere else. Hopefully it means you’re about to get her screaming and you shouldn’t stop. The point is, all girls respond differently, so either ask or keep practicing and you will eventually figure it out. The labia is also very sensitive, and pulling on it with your lips can be a tantalizing treat. Some people choose to dip their tongue into the vagina itself, and while this has never appealed to me or any of my partners, I’m sure there are some people out there who like it. Go ahead and ask.

Even if you’re not dipsticking her vag with your tongue, you should consider using one or more of your digits. The most sensitive part of a girl’s vagina is the roof, so if she’s lying on her back, use a finger or two (nails trimmed!!!) and curl them up when you pull back so that you rub the roof of her vagina. I’ve found that if you can match this beckoning motion with your tongue, you will have found the secret recipe to making your partner scream. Out of joy, hopefully.

Here are a couple things to remember:

First, the tongue is not an infinitely moist object so pull it back into your mouth every now and then in order to re-wet it. Second, vajayjays are not sloppy joes – do not eat them like one. Keep it as clean as possible so when you return from the depths you can kiss whoever is in your bed. Remember, just like everything else with sex, every girl is different, so communication is the key. Also, mix things up – tongue speed, pressure, position, fingers – find out what your partner likes best. Yes, cunnilingus is quite the tongue twister; just stay hydrated and you won’t get a cramp.