Uber-sexy, tra-la-laing tulips to Gunther and the Sunshine Girls for bringing love, sex and respect to UCSB.

Traitorous, flaky turds to Ian Taylor for ditching his Associated Students internal vice president elect duties in favor of the University of California, Berkeley, honors program.

Righteous, gnarly tulips to UCSB administrators for postponing any decisions regarding campus skateboarding bans.

Disrespectful, backfiring turds to T.I. for playing sounds of gunshots after his dedication to the students of Virginia Tech at this year’s Extravaganza.

Helpful, altruistic tulips to Chancellor Henry T. Yang and other administrators for responding to the detainment of a UCSB student by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents.

Pallid, catastrophic turds to the untimely and unfortunate death of the albino raccoon. May his next of kin carry on his legendary status.

Inebriated, buoyant tulips to the second annual Floatopia for giving students yet another excuse to get drunk on the beach.

Pungent, washed up turds to guys who repeatedly jump on top of dead whales beached near Isla Vista: http://youtube.com/watch?v=pEfahy3l0QM

Triumphant, knockout tulips to Associated Students and the Interfraternity Council for keeping Fight Night from going down for the count.