Today is a great holiday that many Isla Vistans have been waiting for: 4/20. Whatever the origin may be, 4/20 has lived on and will continue to thrive for many generations as a day and a time to enjoy that sweet Mary Jane. Seeing as my column is the “Drinker’s Digest,” I would like to offer you some ways to incorporate alcohol into your 4/20.

A simple way to enjoy alcohol while smoking weed is to take a hit, drink some alcohol while holding in the smoke, and then exhaling after consuming the alcohol. There are many variations of this that are sure to get you retarded.

Strikeouts will definitely get you annihilated on 4/20. A strikeout is when you take a rip from a bong, take a shot of liquor, chug a beer (out of a cup or glass is best), and then exhale. A few of these and you will feel that you have to hold on to the ground to keep from falling off the earth.

Find a beer bong and you can do a train whistle. Have a friend fill and ready a beer bong. Take a fat hit, chug the entire beer from the beer bong, then exhale the smoke into the beer bong so it comes out the top.

Another way to impress your friends and get shitty is to do a Wombat. This is similar to a keg stand, but you replace the keg with a bong. Prepare a bong and designate someone to light the bowl, and at least one other person to hold your legs. Have the people holding your legs help you into a handstand position over the bong. Notify the person lighting the bong that you are ready and take a hit. Next, while still in handstand position, chug a beer. Last, stand up and exhale while saying the word “wombat.”

If you choose to smoke with a loved one, or if you want to holla at a girl or guy in your stoner circle, try shotgunning. There are many variations of the shotgun, all equally fun and somewhat erotic. The first is simply taking a toke and the exhaling into someone else’s mouth, which can get physical fast. Another variation involves using your hands to make a tunnel. First, take a drag. Then create a tunnel with your hands and your partner’s hands between your mouth and your partner’s mouth. Make sure there are no holes in the tunnel and exhale. This is believed to come from the Vietnam War when a soldier would take a hit and then blow smoke into another soldier’s mouth through an unloaded shotgun barrel.

There is another method of shotgunning if you choose to smoke from a joint, blunt or spliff. Turn the joint around so the lit part is facing toward your mouth. Carefully place the lit part in your mouth so that it is not touching any part of your mouth and you are holding the joint with your teeth. Find a partner to place their mouth on the other end. Blow as your partner sucks and you are successfully performing a shotgun. I would not recommend performing this version of the shotgun after doing any of the previously mentioned strikeouts, train whistles, or wombats. Remember that you are putting the lit end in your mouth, and you probably want to be fairly sober when you’re doing that.

The last way to spice up your smoke sesh on 4/20 is the flute. Don’t let the name deter you; doing a flute is fun and will surely get you smashed. All you have to do is take a hit and then shotgun a beer. Upon completing the shotgun, exhale into the beer can, mimicking a flute player. Feel free to make funny noises into the can as you do this. Also, you can try blowing the smoke through the can into a friend’s mouth, similar to the “tunnel shotgun.”

These methods of smoking and drinking may seem difficult, but they are all possible and perfect for getting cross-faded. I have personally tested all of them for research purposes and reassure you that you will have fun and probably not die.