This story appears as part of the Daily Nexus’ 2007 April Fools’ issue.
Editor, Daily Nexus,
Spring has most definitely sprung and for UCSB seniors, that means it’s time to start thinking about post-graduation plans. As a career counselor, I know just how stressful this time can be for our seniors. Life after college can seem frightening and confusing, but it doesn’t have to be this way. To help, I have developed a few helpful tips to assist this year’s graduating seniors.
Initially, job hunting may seem difficult, but thanks to advancements in modern technology, many hours of searching can be saved with just the click of a mouse. So before you go through the classifieds section, check out the Internet. Just type in “job” over at this website, Google, and you will receive hundreds of listings. This technology is so advanced that you can even narrow some of your searches. For example, if you consider yourself a craftsman, try searching “hand jobs.”
Furthermore, you’ll probably need to find a roommate since housing is not cheap. You can accomplish this task by placing an ad in the newspaper. Usually, the newspaper will not give you too much space to describe what you’re looking for, so you’ll have to be concise. For example, if you are single and male, you would put “S & M” in your ad. That way, people know exactly what you are looking for.
Also, just like in college, partaking in recreational activities helps to relieve stress. If your local community center doesn’t have the club or activity you are looking for, you can always start your own. Let’s say you are interested in saving an endangered seal. You could go ahead and seek funds from the community. I’m sure there would be someone who would help “Club Seals.”
Alright, well, I’m out of time here, but I hope these tips will help you all in the near future. Best of luck.