Why is the Rum Always Gone?
Friday, Jan. 12, 11:30 p.m. – Officers patrolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive saw an 18-year-old man urinating on a hedge near the sidewalk.

When the deputy contacted the man, he noticed the subject had a fixed look in his eyes – silently staring as if in a trance.

The officer helped the man to the curb, and placed him on the ground in a seated position while he filled out the police report for public intoxication.

The mesmerized man remained mute during the process, and the deputy collected most of his information from the friend of the speechless subject.

When the man stood up to be transported to the police station, a water bottle with dark liquid inside fell out of his pocket.

The man ended his silent streak and told the deputy, “Hey, that’s Captain Morgan’s rum.”

The officer told the man he did not care who’s liquor it was, and poured out the contents of the bottle before transporting the subject to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Getting Arrested
Friday, Jan. 12, 12:35 a.m. – Deputies stationed on the 6600 block of Sabado Tarde Road observed an 18-year-old man stagger into the middle of the street.

The man walked right up to an oncoming car, forcing the driver to slam on his breaks and swerve to miss the subject.

The deputy shinned a flashlight on the man, and ordered him to leave the middle of the street.

The subject eventually staggered to the south side of the road, where he met the officer with bloodshot eyes, as well as the strong odor of alcohol and urine.

The man told the officer he was trying to find a ride home, but could not remember his address.

The deputy offered the man a lift, which he readily accepted. During the ride, the man became extremely talkative and excited, and repeatedly thanked the officer for picking him up.

However, the man’s demeanor was not quite as upbeat when he learned that he had hitched a ride straight to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.