Now that we are all in college, I think it is time that the majority of you got an education. Not the education where you sleep through class, playing sudoku and doing crosswords while the professor drones on. I am talking about a real world-applicable education.

Let the emo kids use the Macs. Want to know why? Primarily, they are just too obscure to have any type of relevance in today’s society. Mac lovers will say many things to counter this, such as they are excellent for editing digital video, and recording audio. Unfortunately for the Mac Nazis, that is now simply not the case. The software available to users of Windows has progressed to the point where Windows-based PCs can do those tasks better and faster.

Furthermore, I want to wish you Mac lovers the best of luck trying to get a job with those badass Mac skills. Guess how many major corporations use Macs? None. That’s right, none. Buying and learning how to use a Mac to do your daily tasks is a colossal waste of time and energy, and in fact, it will set you back compared to other applicants when you are trying to find a job. No employer will hire someone who does not know how to use the technology that they have employed. Furthermore, why would they bother to spend the money to train you when they can quite easily find someone who knows how to use a PC to do the job?

Learn how to use the Internet. It really is not that hard. You have no idea how many people have asked me to work on their computers, complaining that it is too slow or that they have a virus. The answer to why they have these problems is quite simple: PEBKAC. PEBKAC stands for Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. If those people actually new how to responsibly surf the Web, they would be having no problems whatsoever. Guess what antivirus software I use. Go ahead, guess. The answer: none. Why is that? I know how to use the net. I don’t click on every single link and ad on every webpage. I don’t open any attachments sent to me via e-mail. By following those simple steps, I am able to maintain a clean-running, fast system that is always reliable.

Update your box. Check for updates as much as possible. The majority of problems that I see boil down to people being too lazy to set Windows or OSX to automatically download system updates. Ever hear the term Patch Tuesday? That is the day that Microsoft releases updates to its software suite. By simply making sure that you keep your operating system up to date, you can avoid the majority of the problems that most computer users encounter. Furthermore, by keeping the software that you run on your machine updated, you can prevent potential problems from occurring in the first place. Another cool thing about patching your machine’s software is that the manufacturers often will bundle new features for old software with the updates, ensuring that you get your money’s worth over the lifespan of your software.

With these simple steps, even the most inexperienced user can have an enjoyable computing experience and get the most out of their rather expensive purchase. Keeping your box updated and knowing how to surf will make you happy and it will actually make the electronic world better for everyone. By using the Internet correctly, you make the Internet faster, because all those zombies that you own spewing out spam will no longer be operating, making room for far more important things, like downloading porn… err… lecture notes and PowerPoint slides.