Ah yes, the beginning of a new year and a new quarter. A chance for everybody to start anew with a clean slate – but not for me. Come January, I ask myself, “What better time to settle unfinished business?” I’m referring to the Codeoscope, naturally. No 323 or 619? Boy, did I get bitched out for that. I left out half the state.
But not to worry, Southern Californians, I’m an equal opportunity offender. As of today, each and every one of you has a Codestrological sign. The rest of you up north, well… just be patient. Your time is coming. The same applies for 661s because your inclusion of Bakersfield means I count you as Central California. But yeah, on with the show, and so forth!
619: You’re from San Diego, Chula Vista, El Cajon, Otay Mesa, National City or Imperial Beach. You’re generally a pretty chill, neutral person – about as typically Southern Californian as they come. You’re fond of surfing, skateboarding, wearing hats and telling people from the Bay that they “hella caps suck.” There’s one thing that never fails to rile you up, though, and that’s your symbol: The blue and gold lightning bolt – because you will NOT shut up about the San Diego Chargers. Ever. Find some 510s and watch the sparks fly. Otherwise, keep taking it easy with the equally laidback 805s.
858: If you’re an 858, you live in a vaguely defined area in or north of San Diego – most likely Poway, Del Mar or La Jolla. Your legendary surfing, weather, scenery and political conservatism make you more 949 than even a 949. Really, is there any part of California with more blondes, bronze, and neocons? Or with more hatred for the young and nonresident? But it’s not that you’re snobbish like your 949 and 310 kin from Palos Verdes. You just don’t like people fucking up your nice little beach town is all – especially those uncouth 760s. Indeed, your beach obsession might explain your symbols being Brian Wilson, Mike Love and all those other Beach Boys, who forever romanticized your hometowns in songs like “Surfin’ USA.”
323: You live around the perimeter of Los Angeles, from Hollywood to Watts to East L.A. If anybody knows L.A., it’s you. You always know how to make an entrance, how to party and you most definitely know somebody who knows somebody, because you, of course, grew up where all the action is. You’re also probably either too sceney, hang out with the thugs at Hollywood High a little too much or you’re … um … from West Hollywood. Everything 415s love to hate. People from 818 and 310 should be your homeboys, because you exhibit characteristics of both. Your symbol is The El Capitan movie theater in Hollywood: A little tacky, a little shallow, but always good for a spectacle.
213: You’re from downtown L.A., i.e. the muthafuckin’ ‘hood. Like your kindred spirits, 510s and 562s, you grew up surrounded by poverty and crime, and the experience has made you a little more jaded and streetwise than the average bear. If you live in one of the new luxo-apartments nearby the Staples Center, however, you probably feel gypped. The notoriety of your area code was unknown to you when you moved in, so that’s your symbol as well. If you want to have some fun, tell a 310 where you’re from and watch them drop a deuce in their True Religions.
626: You technically live in the San Gabriel Valley – Pasadena or Alhambra – but anyone from La Canada or La Crescenta (represent!) is a 626 in spirit. The presence of Caltech, a sort of Berkeley-in-the-desert, and JPL around Pasadena give you intellectual respect from people around the world, even if you’re from the less glamorous El Monte or Monterey Park. Your symbol, however, is Trader Joe’s. Started right in Monrovia, it perfectly sums up your nerdy, suburban and flat-out yuppie valleyscape. Couple that with the Valley’s distinct Azn flava, and 408s and 650s make a perfect fit.