I followed Darwin BondGraham’s advice from last week’s opinion section (Celeb Talks Fail to Motivate Students, Daily Nexus, Nov. 15, 2006) and opted not to see Jon Stewart on Saturday. Stewart’s bourgeois antics and emphasis on political ambivalence foreshadows the downfall of civic duty, necessitating my devotion to political causes over comedian college tours.
In the same spirit, I skipped a tour of an art museum, as going would discourage me from creating my own art, I burned some books, as they discourage me from writing, and I stopped bathing, as hygiene discourages me from experimenting with new musks.

Monday’s Forecast: The ‘human still does not read the supposed “real” weather forecasts, not for the above reasons, but simply because they’re lame.