Tent City Jam Fest, LLC:
We are sorry, but we cannot approve your request to form “Tent City Jam Fest Camp… For Kidz!” at this time. We acknowledge the value in having social justice themed summer retreats for our nation’s youth, but frankly, we do not understand why they should be forced to make elbow-pasta drawings of U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, or to learn the “campfire” song “We Shall Overcome.” Additionally, we are not sure if “organic, sweatshop-free” s’more makings actually exist, but we assume they would not be too nutritional.
Please also be aware that we were not satisfied with the suggested accommodations (“BYOTent”) or the proposed time period (“However long it takes!!!111”).
Respectfully,
Weatherhuman Camp Association

Thursday’s Forecast: In its search to raise funds, Tent City Jam Fest applies to UCSB Conference Services, saying the lawn in front of Storke Tower is a hotel goldmine.