The ‘human recently found a disposed Cosmopolitan lying around at the Nexus. It found that under one of the “Ten Hot New Sex Positions” feature, a position exists known as, “The Diamond.” The ‘human was confused at first, because “The Diamond,” as far as the ‘human knows, usually is a popular beer pong rack, which utilizes four cups in a diamond situation, optimizing the ball-throwers’ chance of sliding it into its target.

Wednesday’s forecast: The ‘human is a little bit disappointed that the position only received an “easy” ranking, but is ecstatic it fit so many slang words for body parts into one… “box.”