Editor, Daily Nexus,

I’d like to thank Andrew Sweat for his enlightening article, “Distinctive Style Being Destroyed by Pop Culture” (Daily Nexus, Feb. 24). I had no clue that “TV, magazines and celebrities” had any effect on how people dress. Thanks for blowing the lid off that one. Way to take it to big sunglasses, hand-cut jeans and “stoner” music. Anything you’d like to say about Ugg boots while you’re at it?

You also mentioned the annoying habit of biking while talking on a cell phone, and, although I’m not sure what TV show has popularized this trend, I couldn’t agree with you more. However, I think you should have taken it a step further. I mean, what’s the deal with all these people on bikes? I get the whole, “I use it for transportation” thing, but c’mon, isn’t it a bit cliché? That’s why I hire people to push me around in a wheelbarrow. It’s a bit more expensive, but I think it shows that I’m not one to blindly follow any trends.

And what about cell phones for that matter? Let me just say that I was talking on a cell phone back before they were “cool,” but now that this whole mobile communication craze has set in, I just don’t think cell phones adequately express my “distinctive style.” Hence the reason I communicate via bullhorn. Some people think this is just to call attention to myself, but who the hell cares what they think? They’re just jealous that I’m such a unique individual.

Oh, and thanks for calling MTV and Teen People on their rampant obsession with Bob Marley. I swear, if I have to watch TRL count down one more time to “No Woman No Cry,” I’m gonna lose it. Only unknown garage bands can truly express my deeply seeded inner angst.

Well, I better go check the used clothing store to see if they have any new multi-colored tube socks I can make into gloves. Make sure to wave if you see me. I’ll be the one in the wheelbarrow.