To most, Tuesday, Nov. 22nd will be forever known as “Black Tuesday,” after the UCSB men’s soccer team’s 3-2 loss at Northridge. But to the ‘human, the 22nd will forever be known as the day I was refused service at Starbucks for the nature of my genitalia.

Wednesday’s forecast: Apparently, when they ask you room for cream, it’s actually a question, not an invitation.