“Those who resist will be humanely concentrated in several camps and then taught by example how human rights are respected by superior, democratic countries.”
–“With Bush at the Helm, America Will Only Get Better,” Nathaniel Page, Nov. 22.

“Some people fantasize about straddling their partner during a heated moment of no-holds-barred bedroom revelry. I fantasize about straddling that deliciously ambiguous line between late-night lover and committed companion. Around these parts, the latter is far more scandalous.”
–“Bedhead Diaries: The Holy Grail of I.V. Dating,” Meghan Palma, Nexus opinion editor, April 28.

“As a friend and sister of mine told me in response to the common misjudgment that we pay for our friends, ‘If I am paying for my friends, then I am not paying nearly enough.'”
–“The Reader’s Voice: Delta Delta Delta Friends Help Ya Help Ya Help Ya,” Dana Coy, Oct. 7.

“Ditching something you’ve already paid for proves nothing about your political awareness. It’s like buying a candy bar and then throwing it away to protest world hunger.”
–“Artful Dodger: Thanks for Tuition, Mom,” Drew Mackie, columnist, Jan. 20.

“When the going gets tough, the Democrats get going – across the borders.”
–“May I Suggest Canada for Bush-Bashers?” Patrick Callahan, Jan. 25.

“Well, I have good news, frat brothers: You guys can finally put down the bottle of Rohypnol and actually sleep with someone who isn’t passed out… technically. Halloween is the perfect time for guys to go out and take advantage of the loosened sense of morals that accompanies partygoers of the opposite sex.”
–“No More Treats, Just More Tricks,” Kevin McFadden, Nov. 2.

“But the consequences for the world are dire – and looking worse every day. God was clearly displeased: Let that tsunami and the filthy weather that’s been plaguing the United States and causing domestic disasters like La Conchita be a lesson to those self-serving Christian Right assholes.”
–“Drugstore Cowboy: It’s a Mad, Mad World Indeed,” Cory Anthony, columnist, March 31.

“The honeymoon for myself and the Nexus is over.”
–“Why Can’t we all Just Get Along?” Adam Graff, Nov. 22.

“You know, I could get used to being a compassionate conservative. If being a conservative means saying one thing and doing another, I say sign me up!”
–“Left-Lane Driver: Crossing Enemy Lines,” Neil Visalvanich, columnist, Jan. 3.

“The novelty of courtship gave me a little tingle in the ball region, but it was real fucking silly.”
–“He Said: Let’s Cut to the Chase, Baby – No Mind Games Necessary,” Chris Trenchard, Nexus sports editor, Jan. 6.

“I’m a well-intentioned leftist intellectual with concerns about the environment. That said, the population of ‘wild’ pigs in the Channel Islands should make good ham.”
–“The Reader’s Voice: Reap the Bacon Benefits From the Pig Slaughter,” Shawn Moura, March 3.

“It really is a beautiful thing when an English student and a number cruncher hook up – I called her loquacious, she filed my W-2’s without using her hands, you follow me?”
–“The Wednesday Hump: The Songs of Seduction,” Dave Franzese, columnist, Feb. 23.

“I hope you’re framed and convicted of committing a violent bank robbery, leading to you spending the next 10 years in a place where you’re the ‘house cup’ for Bubba the serial molester.”
–“Dear Disrespectful Guests, Die Slowly” David Fuad, May 26.

“Liberalism is really just the politics of liberals – to impose whatever they deem compassionate, even if that prioritizes open air and gophers over human livelihood.”
–“Private Dancer: Arrogant Activism,” Alec Mouhibian, columnist, April 8.

“It’s springtime now. Discussion will be rife over batting averages, steroid controversies and the designated hitter debate. And of course, all of this will be done under the sun relaxing on the beach over a pitcher of Bud without a worry or care in the world.”
–“40 Oz. to Freedom: Bask in the Glow of Opening Day,” Sean Swaby, Nexus assistant opinion editor, April 5.