Today’s the last day to vote for me for A.S. president. I’m not a betting ‘human (I forecast instead), but I wager that the winner will be: the signs. Green or red, the signs have it. While carbon-based A.S. presidents come and go, the signs return each year (some might even stay up all year). And they always win. Let them be, and all will be fine.

Thursday’s forecast: Chalk messages on the ground are not signs, by the way. They are orders from God.