Unlike liberals who permit themselves to have different ideas, conservatives all sound the same. That is because they are brainwashed. A recent study examined the conservative mind and found that the traits they all have in common are death anxiety and a need for closure. In other words, they like their world delivered in simple black and white, like on TV, preferably an action flick or football game.

It’s simple to brainwash. Just suggest to everybody that their safety might be in immediate danger from unknown threats from somewhere else and many will gladly accept your simple, but very expensive, military solution about how to fix the world. Say mushroom cloud and shazam — instant patriotic sheep people. But brainwashed people are easily detected. Observe how threatened they are by data out of line with their strict programming. That is the “crime” Ward Churchill is accused of — expressing a different point of view. Unless you are brainwashed, you can still think outside of the box. If some mental robot does not compute your thoughts, should you lose your job?

Republican conservatives want only to create their own reality, separate from truth, defined for their benefit only. Another word for that is corruption, and conservatives have already created that reality. Just watch FOX News. If you resist the brainwashing, just remember, exposing any other type of truth gets you fired. If your job is about thinking new thoughts, let them be conservative, Republican thoughts — comrade.

During the Clinton administration, every mindless slimy theory that was invented to embarrass President Clinton was paraded endlessly across our TV screens for eight long years. Eventually, after an exhaustive search, they found something and went on to impeach him for an itsy bitsy lie. Back then, cost was no object if some truth was to be uncovered!

But today, when journalists report actual physical evidence about Bush that hints of scandal, take for example the memo regarding Bush’s still unknown location during his Air Force days, Dan Rather and the vice president of CBS do the right thing by apologizing. Of course, they get booted. That will teach anyone in the Bush administration media conglomerate to get out of line.

U.S. taxpayers paid $70 million to fund public investigation of Clinton over eight years. By comparison, $3 million was eventually allocated to investigate the very unusual circumstances of 9/11. Much of it was spent fighting legal roadblocks to get the information. Now Bush and Co. are running a $5 billion a month war based on faulty intelligence from Iraqi exiles. To help pay for this, the rich get tax cuts. The rest of us get to feel proud to sacrifice for a tough-but-fair budget. For this we have no WMDs, no Sadam-Al Qaeda link and no Osama. We do, however, have 1500 dead soldiers. Nobody has been fired or investigated.

Just like the truth, the logic is out there. Unless you are brainwashed, you just won’t understand, because nothing compares to an evil little spot found on a blue dress.

Garrick Sitongia is a graduate student in electrical engineering.