Early Monday morning, the media world converged on the otherwise normal town of Santa Maria for the jury selection for the Michael Jackson child molestation trial. Among the impersonators, fans and sleepy Artsweek correspondents, there were two individuals who seemed to stand out. Only identifying themselves as Rory and Obi-Wan (as in Kenobi, for all you “Star Wars” fans), these students came all the way from France to support MJ. They had come to film their own documentary, undoubtedly to gain support for Michael in their native land. Artsweek sat down with these folks to get their take on the whole spectacle. For greater amusement, try reading this in your best French accent.
Artsweek: You came all the way from France to support Michael Jackson. Is there still a strong fan base for Michael in Europe?
Obi-Wan: Oh, yes, he is very popular.
Invincible, his last album, didn’t sell very well in the States. Do you own it?
Do you think Michael is innocent?
Rory: Hell, yeah! We have met him a lot of times. We have access to a lot of proof and documents that the press does not take the pain to read. Something is really wrong in this one. The child accused Michael of rape and changed the dates of his accusation. It is all about the money. It is the mother; she had a lot of problems before this.
Do you think the mother coached the child about what to say?
Obi-Wan: Oh, yes, of course – she had many problems in the past. She accused a bodyguard of Michael’s of raping her. She accused Michael because he has a lot of money, and that’s all.
This is pretty sensitive information – how did you get hold of this information?
Obi-Wan: On the Internet. You know, there is a network. Some people within his institution gave us some documents.
(At this point in the interview, Rory began suffering from a fit of inexplicable laughter.)
What was your impression about the first case?
Obi-wan: The first case – in the beginning – it was the father. He wanted money from Michael to make a movie. Michael said it was too expensive and didn’t give him the money. It is all about the money – look at Cosby!
Rory: No, no, he means Kobe [Bryant].
Obi-wan: No, I mean like “The Cosby Show.” He is accused of rape right now.
Rory: Like Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Obi-Wan: The famous people are accused of rape right now, and Michael is the same.
So you think that this is just a trend or pattern?
Rory: Of course. They just want to get all the money they can.
There is an expression that goes, “Where there is smoke, there is fire.” Do you feel any doubt because this is the second time this sort of thing has happened?
Obi-Wan: No, I have no doubt about Michael. He is totally innocent. It is not the children accusing him; it is the mothers and fathers. What does that say?
What will you say if something does come out against Michael and he is found guilty?
Obi-Wan: It will never happen. If Michael was a pedophile, why would only two children out of the thousands of children that go through the ranch come out?
Would you personally spend the night with Michael?
Obi-Wan: Yeah, I am not afraid of him. He is a nice guy. If one day you meet him, you will understand. We met him in France and talked and hugged him. It is something you will remember all your life. If you meet him one day, you will understand. I know this guy, and he is full of love. He gives and asks nothing in return.
Finally, what are your favorite songs of Michael’s?
Obi-Wan: “Scared of the Moon.”
Rory: “Earth Song.”
So there it is, folks. They came, they saw, they conquered. Just another perspective on a case that is sure to become an even bigger circus than the OJ trial, with justice and innocence taking a back seat to spectacle. It is just a shame that Chewbacca couldn’t afford the airfare from France and R2-D2 drove the metal detectors at Charles de Gaulle Airport crazy.