The authorities are doing everything in their power to keep out-of-towners away from our celebration this weekend. I’m not a big fan of excessive visitors, but I feel kind of bad for the poor souls who will drive all the way here only to find no parking within the nearest five miles. I’m thinking of dressing up as an out-of-towner to mourn their absence.

Friday’s forecast: Look for the human decked out in UC Santa Cruz apparel and wearing a big sign saying, “I’M FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL.”