In last night’s Great Debate, Kerry and Bush both explained their qualifications to lead Iraq. Bush cited his testosterone levels, and Kerry countered with the fact that he, too, is male and resolute. Wait, did I say Iraq? I meant America. Both are qualified to lead America, a nation they often referred to when discussing Iraq.

If you didn’t watch the debate, I hope you somehow become informed about the candidates and the issues, since this is guaranteed to be one of the most profound elections for Iraqi citizens ever. The future of some other country is at stake.

Friday’s forecast: In a resolute display of resolve, Bush invades America.