Del Playa’s Catcher in the Rye
Saturday, May 8, 1:19 a.m. – Officers observed a 21-year-old man staggering westbound on Del Playa Drive at the corner of Camino Pescadero. The man crossed the intersection, stumbled onto the sidewalk and approached three women who were walking toward him.

When he was within five feet of the women, officers watched as the man stretched his arms out to his sides and moved to entrap the three ladies, refusing to let the girls walk past him.

After brief imprisonment failed to seduce the women, the man stumbled back into the street, only to be warned by a friend that the cops were coming.

The man nearly fell as he swung around to size up the approaching officers, but realized he was no match and began to walk quickly away.

Officers told the man to stop because they wanted to talk to him. The man turned around and exclaimed, “Fuck you guys,” at which point officers detected a strong odor of alcohol on his breath and person, and noted that his speech was thick and slurred.

Police grabbed the man to keep him from falling down, to which he yelled, “Get the fuck off me. You can’t touch me,” according to reports. Once he was placed under arrest, he continued yelling obscenities and asking his friends to help get him home.

Once taken to the Isla Vista Foot Patrol station, the man refused to answer any questions and passed out several times in a chair. At this point, officers noted that the man’s pants had slipped down around his ankles.

After still further belligerence, officers took the man to Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed pending sobriety.

Cordless Orange Juice and Vodka
Wednesday, May 5, 2:17 a.m. – Officers patrolling the 700 block of Camino del Sur observed a 20-year-old woman standing still in the driveway of an apartment complex, facing a wall.

As police approached the woman to check on her welfare, she began to walk away. While they attempted to catch up, officers noticed that her balance appeared unsteady.

When officers reached her, they noted that the woman displayed several symptoms of intoxication.

When asked what she was doing outside, the woman said she did not know, which was the same answer she gave to the rest of the questions asked of her that night. She was also unable to produce any identification.

However, officers did find she was in possession of a cordless screwdriver.

The woman refused to answer when asked why she was carrying the screwdriver.

She was transported to Santa Barbara County Jail, where she was housed pending sobriety.

Two Failed Getaways
Wednesday, May 5 – Officers responding to a disturbance on the 800 block of Embarcadero del Mar spotted a 26-year-old man who fit the description of a man who moments earlier had tried to get into an apartment by kicking its door.

When he saw police, the man ran east on Pardall Road but was captured at the corner of Embarcadero del Norte and Cordoba Road.

Officers noted that he appeared to be having trouble maintaining his balance, so they sat him down on the curb, where they observed further signs of intoxication, including glassy eyes. He was also breathing heavily as if he had just been running. One of his boots was unlaced and his pants were stained in the seat area.

Witnesses identified the captured suspect as the man who tried to get into their apartment, but no one was willing to sign a citizens’ arrest form, so police arrested him for public intoxication.

While an officer was completing the booking forms at the IVFP station, the man slipped his right handcuff off.

However, he was quickly recuffed and taken to jail without further incident. He was housed pending sobriety.