Today is A.S. Election Day, and while I’m sure that most of you have already decided who will get your vote… Wait a minute. You haven’t decided a damn thing. You don’t know who the president is now and you couldn’t care less who it will be next year. And God bless you for that, because it’s really just a bunch of big kids playing “house,” arguing over who gets to be Daddy.

So maybe you weren’t going to vote at all. Maybe you were just going to go on GOLD and pick a name out of a hat. I implore you, instead, pull a name out of your ass. Write in weatherhuman for A.S. President.

Tuesday’s forecast: Vote weatherhuman: Because I care as little as you do.