No Laughing Matter

On Sunday, March 21 at 12:18 a.m., Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers on the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive observed a youngish-looking crowd drinking from red keg cups at a party and decided to check it out.

As they approached, the officers saw an 18-year-old man set his cup down on the fence rail and attempt to avoid eye contact. When one officer asked the man his age, the suspect looked away and did not answer. The officer repeated his question and the man answered that he was under 21.

The man said he did not have any identification on him, but provided a name, address and date of birth. He told the officer he did not have a driver license or an I.D. card, but then he remembered that he got an I.D. card when he took a trip to Mexico. Of course he did not have this I.D. on him.

Because of his conflicting stories, the man was patted down to make sure he didn’t have any I.D. on him. When none was found, the officer called in the information the man had provided to the dispatch center. The dispatcher was unable to match the information.

During this process the man was cracking jokes, laughing and was not taking the incident seriously. He even laughed at the officer and asked how he could be writing “beer tickets” when there were rapists on the streets. Soon afterward the man was placed in handcuffs and taken to the IVFP station.

Once at the station, the man continued to laugh and joke about the whole incident and asked the officer several times for a hug. He continued to provide the same name he had originally given, even though the officer had found a match of the name with a different address and date of birth than those the man provided.

The officer asked the man his date of birth once more, and the man provided the birthday that matched the one in the computer. When asked why he gave a different date of birth earlier, the man did not respond. Frustrated with name games, the officer told the man that he needed to give his real name and birthdate. The man then asked the officer to shut the door to the interview room.

Once in the privacy of the interview room, the man told the officer his real name and date of birth. He said he was scared when the officer stopped him so he gave the name of a friend he had met on a ski trip a few weeks before.

The officer checked the new information in the computer and was able to verify the man’s identity. The man continued to joke about how they were wasting time and laughed at the officers. This was before he knew that providing false information to an officer is a felony offense.

While on the way to the county jail the man pleaded to be released. He told the officer that a felony charge is too severe. He said he was a “good boy,” he just made a mistake.

At the jail the man refused to listen to directions and made rude comments about the jail and laughed. His laughter did not sway the officer, who booked him into the jail on charges of false impersonation of another and minor in possession of alcohol.

Bloody Valentine

On Sunday, March 21 at 2:17 a.m., IVFP officers responded to the 6600 block of Trigo Road where a 19-year-old woman was reportedly “out of control.”

The woman had already been arrested for public intoxication and was handcuffed in the back of a patrol car when the reporting officer arrived. He noticed that the woman smelled strongly of alcohol, could not maintain her balance and would only mutter unintelligibly when asked questions.

While the officer was transporting her to the jail, he heard a loud banging noise from the back of the car. He saw the woman bang her head repeatedly against the partition that divides the front seat from the back seat. She ignored the officer’s instructions to remain still.

When they arrived at the jail, the officer saw that the woman’s head-banging session had left her with a bloody nose. There was blood all over her face, clothes and the back seat of the patrol car. The officer decided it would be best to take her to Goleta Valley Cottage Hospital for medical clearance.

While en route to the hospital, the woman told the officer, “I can write ‘I love you’ in blood if you want” and “I hope you have fun cleaning up all of the blood in the car.”

The woman was so uncooperative at the hospital that it took two hours for hospital staff to determine that she was not seriously injured.

No Rest For The Weary

On Wednesday, March 24 at 1:00 a.m., an officer saw a 22-year-old man sound asleep in a chair in front of Rosarito’s on the 900 block of Embarcadero Del Mar. He had a half-eaten burrito in one hand.

The officer had to shake the man several times before he woke up. When he finally came to, the man was unable to recognize where he was or how he had gotten there.

He was arrested for public intoxication and transferred to the county jail for an undisturbed night of sleep.

The Usual BS

On Friday, March 26 at 10:17 p.m., IVFP officers on the 6600 block of DP saw a 19-year-old man staggering in the middle of the road with his friend. One officer asked the man if he was OK, but the man kept walking and did not respond.

The officer then stepped in front of the man and again asked if he was OK. The man’s speech was so thick and slurred that the officer could not understand his response.

The officer asked the man where he was going and his friend provided an address on the 6600 block of DP but pointed toward the 6700 block. The officer asked the man how much he had had to drink, and the man said two beers. The officer told the man he thought he had had more to drink, but the man stuck by his two-beer claim.

While he was being placed in handcuffs the man said, “This is total bullshit. You did not give me any tests.” The officer explained to the man that he was being arrested for public intoxication, to which the man said, “Yeah right, you have no evidence that I’m drunk.” During this interaction the man’s speech became increasingly incoherent.

At the IVFP station the officer asked the man for his name and date of birth. The man first misspelled his own last name and then said his birthday was “04-05-04.” The officer asked the man what year he was born, and again the man said, “04-05-04.” When the officer asked the man his age, the man said he was 18. Again the officer asked for the man’s birthday and he said, “04-05-04, I mean 84.” This makes the man 19 years old, not 18.

The man then began yelling in the interview room, which quickly degenerated into uncontrollable sobbing. He apologized but said he shouldn’t be sent to jail because it is not a crime to be drunk.
– Compiled by Kristina Ackermann