American politics can make you crazy. I opened the paper today to see that my favorite candidate from 2000 joined this year’s race and my first reaction was “Fuck you! Stay the fuck out, you evil bastard!”

I like Nader, and not just because I’ve always pulled for hideously ugly people (Yes, I know why that is, so you weatherhaters can save the emails). But he is the best thing to happen to the Bush campaign since evil aliens took control of America’s electoral process.

Don’t believe it? Explain Katherine Harris.

Tuesday’s forecast: Harris is clearly built for politics. It’s hard for people to notice she’s lying when they are sprinting in the opposite direction.