The 3rd district election is getting ugly as the opposition is trying to sully John Buttny’s name. And I don’t mean by calling him Assny.

Mr. Heinie-ny picked up a few felonies in the ’60s while with a group of anti-war radicals called the weathermen (no relation). After a while, the group turned violent, carrying out a few bombings on government labs. My sources tell me Buttny was gone by then, already a legend for a biological assault that he pulled on a post office. They say after the place was evacuated, if you were downwind, you could smell the patchouli 5 miles away.

Wednesday’s forecast: “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan said. And you wonder what killed the hippie movement.