Dead Week and the finals crunch are always a joy – if you like pain. Caffeine overload headaches and delirium are surely right around the corner for many students due to all-nighters, final papers and presentations. As tension mounts, stores run out of No-Doz and the dawn of a new final is upon you I suggest taking a little time out for some stress release: Get naked.
If you think about it, the possibilities with this one are endless. Getting naked gives you a good, healthy adrenaline rush that will break up the monotony of any subject you are slaving over. You can streak, go skinny-dipping, run around your house nude or call over an old friend or significant other to organize some naked Olympics that will undoubtedly lead to sweaty sexual surprises. Hell, you can even study naked if it makes you feel better about the material.
Perhaps some of you have experienced the notorious theme streakers that visit finals each quarter. A nude robber with nothing but a mask over his eyes and bare-ass cop running after him is just plain hilarious. I know they have fun doing it and I bet you think it’s funny to watch. So why not re-create some nude goodness at home as a study break? If you are alone, you could masturbate; if not, have sex or just jump around with someone else to get your blood pumping.
Taking 15 minutes to run around the block or jump into the ocean as naked as the day you were born sure beats the hell out of sitting in your room, chewing your nails down until you can no longer touch your keyboard without sharp pains shooting up your fingers. Nude indoor croquet, running in place naked while humming the theme to “Rocky” or perhaps cooking dinner naked – it doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as it’s a refreshing study break that also turns out to be liberating. Some people get through the stress with more traditional methods like eating, writing in a journal or working out at the gym. Why do all of these activities naked? Why not?
Since nudity is so taboo in this society, it is easy to get a charge out of it. The combination of scholastic pressure and fatigue associated with this time of the quarter is just the right mix for an exciting change of pace. You don’t have to be a hardcore exhibitionist to utilize nudity to its full tension-releasing potential. Try it out – the next thing you know you could be ending each quarter by ritualistically swinging your pair of lucky booby tassels while preparing for your most difficult finals.
Someday, when you are 38 years old and have a career, it will be inappropriate to run down the street wearing only your house slippers in Suburbia, U.S.A. to release tension that builds up in your 45-hour-a-week job. Get your kicks when you can – or at least when you can blame it on your daring youthfulness. Many of you may not know what I look like, but rest assured there is a good chance you have seen my bare naked ass running down some Isla Vista street within the past year.
For those of you who simply do not feel comfortable being out in the open and unclothed, try something small to break up the finals freak-out. Sleep naked or read in the bath tub. You could end up not only being more relaxed for that 8 a.m. final the next day, but also becoming a little more comfortable with your body, which will give you a stronger sense of sexual confidence in the long run.
We came to this school to expand our horizons by pursuing a higher education, not to give ourselves premature ulcers and gray hairs at the close of every quarter. Since we are all putting forth so much money and innumerable hours studying until our eyes practically bleed, there better be some excitement. If six months from now, all I remember from a fall finals study session for a general education class is the comedy of when my study group and I got naked and ran from Fortuna Lane to Camino Corto, that’s fine with me. It’s certainly more bang for my buck.
In the time you were looking down at this article, Daily Nexus sex columnist Kate Rice probably ran past you naked. It’s a shame you missed it.