The weatherhuman believes that the mass slaughter of turkeys this time of year is a cruel, archaic tradition. I vastly prefer prime rib.

But no matter what you are into, enjoy tomorrow’s feast. Savor your full belly and tell your family how much you love them. Bask in the American-ness and the excess that is a holiday devoted to food. Remind everyone that bin Laden is off starving in some cold-ass cave. I do it at every family gathering, and it always kills.

Wednesday’s forecast: Enjoy it now. By New Year’s everyone will be insanely jealous of bin Laden’s figure.