Monkeys are truly marvels of nature – so like us, yet able to masturbate in public and fling feces. Perhaps, rather than looking at monkeys as humanity’s evolutionary predecessors, we should look at monkeys as role models – a pinnacle of culture to which we can all aspire.
DRINK OF THE WEEK
– 2 oz. Cruzan banana rum
– 2 oz. orange juice
Pour into a chilled cocktail glass full of cracked ice. Stir well.
Make those three m’s in “mmm” stand for “monkey!”
THE GREAT SIMIAN SHOWDOWN
Help the Daily Nexus decide the greatest simian of all time. Would you rather feces were flung by…
– Koko, the sign language ape?
– King Kong?
– Barrel chucker Donkey Kong?
– Clyde, costar of the Clint Eastwood classic “Any Which Way But Loose”?
– Bonzo, costar of the Ronald Reagan classic “Bedtime for Bonzo”?
– Cheetah, Tarzan’s oddly named companion?
– Ape, George of the Jungle’s aptly named companion?
– Bubbles, Wacko Jacko’s “companion”?
– Julius, the Paul Frank monkey?
– Mojo, Homer Simpson’s helper monkey?
– “Powerpuff Girls” villain Mojo Jojo?
– Johnny Chimpo of “Super Troopers”?
– King Louie?
– Curious George?
– Grape Ape?
– Marcel from “Friends”?
– The psychotic orangutan from “Murders in the Rue Morgue”?
– Sock monkeys?
– The Barrel of Monkeys monkeys?
– The flying “Wizard of Oz” monkeys?
– Able and Baker, first monkeys in space?
Vote today! Fling your choice for top banana over to us at opinion@dailynexus.