Editor, Daily Nexus,
I’m not gonna take this shit anymore! If you live in I.V. like me, you should realize that we live in a very unique place. We pay astronomical rents to live in shabby structures, have our cars regularly vandalized and get mistreated by cop and landlord alike. I have taken it for three years dutifully paying my rent, losing my deposit and swilling free Natty Light. But this is the last straw! These cops on horses are disrespecting our community. If I piss in a bush it could cost me up to $700, but it seems perfectly acceptable for cops’ horses to shit in the middle of the street. I wonder what the fine is if I am suddenly struck with the need to pass some ass in the middle of the street? Yes, it’s true that horse shit doesn’t contain bacteria like human or dog shit, but I still don’t want to step in it. In New York or New Orleans they manage to keep the shit off the streets, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. So ladies and gentlemen of the mounted police, get your beasts some diapers, because I.V. deserves more. We will not be shat on.