Stop, Drop and Run

Friday, May 30, 11:57p.m.: Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers at the intersection of Del Playa Drive and Camino Pescadero observed a 19-year-old man carrying a twelve-pack of Budweiser beer. Since he looked too young to be in possession of alcohol, an officer contacted the man to ask his age.

The suspect claimed he was 21, but could produce no identification. He then began backing away from the officers, at which point he dropped the package of booze and launched into a full sprint westbound on DP.

Officers gave chase, observing the man weave between and bump into other pedestrians as he tried to evade capture. The man pushed open a gate leading to the backyard of a residence on the 6600 block of DP, where he tripped and fell. After meeting the ground, the subject also met the pursuing officer, who detained him at gunpoint.

The man quickly told the officers he was in the U.S. Navy, and was afraid of getting in trouble since he had been told at his naval base the night before that he was prohibited to drink.

When police returned to the spot where the man had dropped the twelve-pack of beer, they determined that “bystanders must have carried it off.”

Officers contacted the Navy to see if they wanted to pick the detained man up, but the Navy declined and recommended that police book him into the local jail. The officers were more than happy to oblige.

Got a Light?

Saturday, May 31, 12:50a.m.: An undercover IVFP officer noticed large amounts of smoke coming from the middle of the street on the 6700 block of DP. Upon arriving at the scene, the officer determined the smoke was billowing from a flaming couch and mattress that had been piled in the roadway.

While watching the blaze, the officer observed a 19-year-old man walk out to the fire carrying a 12 ounce can of Keystone Light and a large piece of wood, which he threw onto the fire. The man also attempted to light his cigarette in the flames, but was unsuccessful given their size and abundance.

Recognizing that a can of beer and a piece of wood make dismal fire-fighting tools, the officer came to the conclusion that the man’s actions were making the situation worse – possibly intentionally. The officer grabbed the man and placed him in handcuffs. He was booked into the county jail where his failure to grasp basic concepts of fire fighting could no longer scorch the asphalt.

Your Name is What?

Saturday, May 31, 6:18p.m.: Officers responded to a report that a 34-year-old man was causing a disruption at The Study Hall on the 6500 block of Pardall. When officers arrived, they observed a man staggering toward the bar’s entrance. He was not wearing a shirt and was swearing loudly at other patrons.

Officers approached to determine why the man was so agitated, but before they could ask, the man greeted them with a hearty “what the fuck do you want?”

Police noted a strong odor of alcohol from the man’s breath and person. An employee from the bar told the officers the man had been refused drinks due to his level of intoxication, and that he had thrown a glass full of beer against a wall.

The man was arrested for pubic intoxication after several more minutes of unintelligible shouting. Once at the IVFP interview room, the suspect continued cursing at deputies and kicking the interview room door. When asked his name, the man replied with “fuck you, asshole,” which did not correspond to the name printed on his driver license.

He refused to answer any further questions, but had no objection to kicking the car cage and screaming obscenities during his transportation to jail.

Cooperative, Too Cooperative

Saturday, May 31, 11:56p.m.: Officers patrolling the 6500 block of DP observed a 20-year-old man holding a white plastic keg cup and standing in the street talking with friends. Officers contacted the man regarding his open container and asked for his age. Liar Lewis stated he was 23 years old.

Officers asked Lewis to sit on the curb while they confirmed his identity and wrote him a citation for possession of an open container of alcohol. Lewis produced a driver license that did indeed prove his name and age, and he clearly enunciated the last four digits of his social security number. The officer noted that “this was not the usual type of cooperation [he] would get from a college student receiving a citation.” However, the officer also noticed there were “subtle differences” between the picture on the license and the face of Liar Lewis.

Remembering that the wallet Lewis took his driver license from was quite thick with other types of cards, the officer asked to see an alternative form of identification. The officer asked if Lewis had anything at all in his wallet that had his name on it, to which Lewis initially said yes, but then quickly corrected himself and said no.

Lewis refused to give the officer his wallet, resulting in a struggle that brought in a second officer to subdue the liar and place him in handcuffs.

In the wallet, officers found a second driver license that more closely matched Liar Lewis’ face, in addition to a UCSB identification card and an SBCC identification card – all of which had the subject’s real name.

Once in custody, the subject admitted to providing false identification because he had heard from a friend, who had visited I.V. before, that the police do not care what people do here as long as they are over 21. Hindsight can sure be a bitch sometimes.