Editor, Daily Nexus,

In reading the column “Ill Spittin’ Game” (Daily Nexus, May 28, 2003), I could not help but shed a solitary tear. The end of an era is upon us. I have always enjoyed reading the Daily Nexus sports page, but one individual in particular I’d like to thank.

Over the past few years I have read Eliav Appelbaum’s writing and have grown quite fond of it. Perhaps the keen insight into the sporting world grabbed my attention: “Just as they were about to tear the Trojans off and jostle them down on the bed in front of a televised audience, a leak sprung through the Gauchos’ prophylactic defense.” Or maybe it was the mastery of the English language that I fell in love with: “Have you ever seen anything so despicable, in the eloquent words of Daffy Duck? Disregard last month’s blind date to a wild boar with prominent yellow tusks and splotches of hairy moles, and your answer should be a definitive no.” It was as if Appelbaum was rewriting the rules of English or just making up new ones as he went along. Often while reading his articles I was not sure which team had triumphed or even what sport was played, but of one thing I was certain: the author.

Thank you, Eliav, and good luck to you in your future as a sports journalist. It has been a long, strange trip for our yellow submarine, but that is our final answer, so dial down the center and let Carrot Top tell us what time to tell you what for.