“Do NOT go in there… whew!!!”

This, of course, is a classic line from the movie “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.” It is also something you are likely to hear people saying as they exit theaters showing Jim Carrey’s latest flick, “Bruce Almighty.”

Folks, this movie stinks to high heaven.

In the past few years, Jim Carrey has been taking on challenging roles (as in “The Truman Show” and “Man on the Moon”) in an attempt to win an Oscar. With “Bruce Almighty,” Carrey is officially announcing his quest for an Oscar is over.

In “Bruce Almighty,” Carrey teams up with director Tom Shadyac, the auteur responsible for creating sucky saccharine schlock like “Patch Adams.” The result of their collaboration is nauseating. Carrey plays Bruce Nolan, a goofy rubber-faced TV reporter who is trying to become the anchor on the local news. When he gets passed over for the job, Bruce blames God for his bad luck. God (played by Morgan Freeman) then appears to Bruce and tells him he is going on vacation for a couple of weeks. While he is away, God turns all of his powers over to Bruce to teach him a lesson.

So what does Bruce do when bestowed with the powers of God? The premise does have potential to hit comedic pay dirt, but it completely misses the mark. When endowed with God’s powers, Bruce makes a girl’s skirt fly up and makes a monkey fly out of a guy’s ass. It’s not exactly “comedy gold.”

And may I ask, what the hell is Morgan Freeman doing in this movie? Isn’t he supposed to be a credible actor? Somebody should send Freeman back to Shawshank for the unforgivable crime of appearing in “Bruce Almighty.”

In the end, Carrey uses God’s powers to win back his neglected girlfriend (played by Jennifer Aniston). For the record, Jennifer Aniston has been in show business for more than a decade, and in that time, she has failed to prove that she is anything more than just a haircut. She continues this trend in “Bruce Almighty” by doing a poor job of pretending to laugh at Jim Carrey’s hammy antics.

But the lousy acting, poor direction, and insanely moronic story aren’t what make this movie so horrendous. It was the excessive sappy sentimentality that gave me the sensation of being seasick while watching it. In Carrey’s earlier comedies (like “Dumb & Dumber” and “Ace Ventura”), there was a bite to his physical humor that is completely absent in “Bruce Almighty.” If Carrey continues churning out tacky crap like “The Majestic” and “Bruce Almighty,” he will get dangerously close to turning into Robin “Bicentennial Man” Williams.

I feel like I have failed in my job as a reviewer because I don’t have a strong enough grasp on the English language to effectively convey how Godawful (pun intended) this movie is.

There is an old saying that there are no atheists in foxholes. Well, there are no atheists in theaters showing “Bruce Almighty,” either; because no matter what you do or don’t believe in, you will be praying to God, Allah, Yahweh and Buddha to make this movie stop.