It happened this morning. I had soap in my eyes and I was squinting at my shampoo bottle when I saw it:

“For talk and tips, visit www.helenecurtis.com.”

Why not? So I logged on and to my surprise found that my education has gone for nothing. It appears that socialization, globalization, racial relations, and all the other -ations you can think of are really peripheral to the functioning of society.

What is it that life revolves around? Hair. Yes, it seems that all the important puzzles in life can be reduced to hair questions. Look at Helene Curtis’ stunning list of topics: Pregnancy and motherhood? “Nine months of drop dead gorgeous hair.” Weddings? “You’ve got the ring – now let’s talk hair.” And forget the news. “The Style Report…is enough to send our hearts and hemlines soaring.”

Monday’s forecast: I’m changing shampoos.