To simplify my life, my bank and my electric company got together and let me pay my bill online. I was grateful towards the B and the E for this.

Yesterday, a SoCal Edisonite turned off my electricity, knocked on my door and presented me with a bill inflated by late fees and a reconnection charge.

When I paid my e-bill online three days prior, the money left my checking account immediately but did not go to Edison. On the phone, a chirpy Edisonite told me that such money disappears to Aruba with a BofA VP where it is plied with sweetened words and rum, talked into anal sex and given a disease before it winds up in Edison’s account 7-10 days later feeling dirty and cheap. Or something.

Thursday’s forecast: Candles. Candles aren’t so bad.