I have divided the remainder of my quarter into “real work” and “fake work.”

In a way, I’m just being honest with myself. I never study for my last final and I invariably scribble out my last paper. There is no sense of finality to any part of the quarter system.

So, I have declared that my term paper due tomorrow will be my last “real paper.” All further papers will be thoroughly and painstakingly half-assed.

Furthermore, I will only study for my first two finals. All others will henceforth be referred to as “fake” finals.

So much for the climax to the quarter.

Thursday’s forecast: I faked it.