There is a conspiracy afoot. Before the year began, all the professors and TAs at this school decided to assign papers for the same three days.

Either that or God looked at the very fabric of space-time and hit this week with a big rubber stamp labeled, “SHIT.”

I can’t decide which one is more likely. The only thing that I’m entirely sure of is that the weatherdishes are piling and the weather-caffeine-addiction is reaching a horrifying plateau.

Good luck. I’ll see you all in intensive care.

Thursday’s forecast: Dwindling lines at Nic’s as coffee cravings fade into meth addiction.